Turn Over the Table
As America’s infamous fictional president, Francis J. Underwood once said: “If you don’t like how the table is set, turn over the table.”
Meaning, if you are presented with a situation or scenario that you particularly do not like, you have the choice to change it.
I opened my email box to a “thank you, but we regretfully inform you…” I don’t even bother reading the rest of the email, I mean I know what it’s going to say so what’s the point? I click delete and the tears accompany and then the typical “woe is me” attitude surfaces.
“Ugh, I never get anything that I try for.”
“The system is rigged.”
“No one ever chooses me.”
“If they only knew me…”
So, after a day, two days, a week, a month, years after I’m rejected I often find myself still dwelling on it – still focusing on my short comings and feeling bad for myself. My attitude towards myself is negative, I go into every other opportunity with a “Maybe I’ll get this one, but what if I don’t…oh no.” And the carousel of sitting in my own tears continues to go around and round.
I think it is easy for all of us to get in a rut. To let past experiences define us in the most negative way possible. We let our emotions control us – keep us on the carousel of woe.
Then that one rejection email turns into two, three. Friends, employers, children, even animals can get a sense of you low self-confidence and discontinued desire to go after your goals.
All this is said to show that we reflect the world around us. That the emotions that we expel are ultimately what we receive. If we bring rain, gloom and darkness we will receive just that.
We are all mirrors, reflecting our emotions on to others.
Turn over the Table
Our emotions, just like in our personal lives, effect our professional life as well. Chances are the vibe you give in any situation whether it be in a business deal, phone call, or interview will be reflected on to you. If you don’t like something – change it – be the master of your emotions.
The moment you can take your emotions and make them your slave – to work for your advantage is the day you will see things work in your favor.
“Today I will be the master of my emotions. It is one of nature’s tricks, little understood that each day I awaken with moods that have changed from yesterday…If I bring rain and gloom and darkness and pessimism to my customers then they will react with rain and gloom and darkness and pessimism and they will purchase naught.” – Og Mandino, Worlds Greatest Salesmen
4 Steps to Master Your Emotions
1) Be cognizant of your emotions – of how others perceive you.
· Take mental notes of the encounters you have with people. How have these experiences made you feel? What happened that day?
· Begin to become aware of these feelings and how you can turn them to your advantage.
2) Define your outcome – what do you want from this encounter?
· What do you want to come out of this meeting? If it’s a job interview, maybe making a great impression is the goal, or if it is a freelance opportunity – sealing the deal is the objective.
· Define what you want to see and go after it.
3) Create an “action” plan to turn the table over.
· If it’s getting the job that is your goal, know the necessary steps needed to achieve this goal. Not just logistics like resume and references, but doing things prior to interview that will shape your emotional state to something that you would want to reflect.
· Make the split-second decisions to take how you are feeling a force yourself to master your emotions in a certain way that will achieve your goal.
· Use affirmations to control your thoughts.
4) Commit every day to this process till it becomes second nature.
· Mastering your emotions does not come naturally. We are conditioned to feel in a way that reflects our surroundings. The greatest in every field have found a way to control their reactions to any situation.
· Having the strength to go through this process till it becomes natural will change this “conditioning” that we are taught from an early age.
To get what we want – to achieve our goals – we need to first learn how to master our emotions. To be cognizant of how we reflect on to others and to use that knowledge in our favor. If we can do this, if we can master this area of our life, our story will be irresistible to those who we are trying to “sell” it to. Remember:
“Each Day, when I awake, I will follow this plan not battle before I am captured by the forces of sadness, self-pity and failure –
· If I feel depressed, I will sing.
· If I feel sad, I will laugh.
· If I feel ill, I will double my labor.
· If I feel fear, I will plunge ahead.
· If I feel inferior, I will wear new garments.
· If I feel uncertain, I will raise my voice.
· If I feel poverty, I will think of wealth to come.
· If I feel incompetent, I will remember past success.
· If I feel insignificant, I will remember my goals.
Today I will be master of my emotions.” – Og Mandino
Turn over your table and be the master of your emotions.